13 Ways To Find Out If You're A Lesbian
Real Men Are Not linked to this garbage in a post entitled "The Good, The Bad, The Ridiculous" (I think it's in the latter category?). Anyway, just so you know I'm not in the habit of taking online quizzes to find out whether or not I am a lesbian. I don't think they'd help me. :)
Don't bother to take the quiz, just read the answers:
MOSTLY A: You love men, always have, always will! You’re a girlie girl who regularly swoons over fit celebs with friends who share your mission: to have a wonderful wedding and live in a gorgeous house filled with pretty children. But because you can’t picture a life without men, you are unsettled by same-sex relationships to the point of homophobia. Just because someone is a lesbian doesn’t mean she’s going to jump your bones. Stop flattering yourself so much! Tolerance is the one virtue that makes for a well-rounded personality.
MOSTLY B: You are a tactile person who is open with her sexuality. The company of females is every bit as fun as being with boys, but you know the difference when it comes to sex. You know which one you want to have physical closeness with on an intimate level, but that’s not to say you don’t like the idea of the other either. Your ‘it’s cool either way’ attitude might land you in trouble, especially after a few beers. Be careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings in the name of curiosity.
MOSTLY C: Forget what others may think – it’s time to confront your own feelings. Is it just that you’re not into men at the moment, or are your feelings for women too deep on both physical and emotional levels? Heterosexual women can have same-sex fantasies and some experiment, but only you can tell whether what you’re going through is a phase or the real deal. Try not to label yourself as a ‘lesbian’ unless you’re sure, because it may turn out you’re bisexual. It’s okay not to fancy boys, but don’t start hating them – or yourself – for it.
I know it's not all bad - love yourself, accept the queers whether you are one or not, etc. And it's probably just cheap for me to be nitpicking here because it's a 10 QUESTION QUIZ TO FIND OUT IF YOU'RE A LESBIAN THAT DOESN'T EVER ASK YOU IF YOU'VE HAD SEX WITH A WOMAN! But take a look at the highlighted sections and we'll learn some lessons.
1. "Girle-girls" are always heterosexual. (Confidential to Belledame, it's time to confront your sexuality.)
2. You only get to live in a nice house if you're hetero.
3. If you're a dyke who wants kids, they're gonna be ugly. But that shouldn't be a problem because dykes don't want pretty kids.
4. The "girlier" you are, the more likely you are to be a shallow golddigger.
5. Being flexible with your sexuality is a recipe for disaster. Don't drink ... who knows what could happen.
6. Never jump straight to the "lesbian" label. Keep trying out the boys, just to be on the safe side. "Lesbian" is an identity to be avoided unless absolutely necessary.
7. One big reason to avoid the "lesbian" label is that it might make you start hating men. Fight the feeling.
So, I get snarky and laugh with every bit of superiority I have (which is no small feat) and then I remember that some poor 15-year-old is poring over this quiz, hoping it'll solve her dilemma. Sad.